By Beleaf in Fatherhood
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As you guys know last week our children encountered their first racial experience. Yvette and I are trying to navigate it even though we feel like we’re being silenced. Obviously we can’t get into too much of it so this will be our last Time speaking about it unless it happens again.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:01
all right here we go welcome
00:04
to our safe space
00:07
um my safe space right this is event
00:10
safe space if you
00:11
do not know first of all let’s let’s get
00:14
to the point
00:14
right yes i’m gonna introduce myself
00:16
because some of you guys may be new here
00:17
my name is glenn henry
00:19
um and i go by belief
00:22
the channel is called belief in
00:24
fatherhood this is my lovely wife
00:27
i oh i’m introducing myself my name is
00:30
yvette henry um i go by mrs melanin
00:35
that’s not my rap name or anything it’s
00:37
just who i am i guess
00:39
uh and we are basically going to um
00:42
just kind of discuss how we feel after
00:46
um you know our children had a racial
00:49
experience
00:50
um yeah that’s a better that’s what
00:52
we’re calling it
00:53
yeah okay i think it’s the best way to
00:54
say it uh and so
00:58
i think that after we you know
01:01
we had this experience we put it out and
01:04
the messages we were getting were so
01:07
intense and deep
01:08
and heartfelt in the emails and stuff
01:11
like that
01:12
um but not too many people
01:15
asked how we are doing so i wanted to
01:18
ask
01:19
how are you doing
01:24
i know
01:27
stop no i’m not going to you already did
01:30
i know
01:32
you can edit it out um that’s the
01:35
thumbnail
01:37
go ahead sorry
01:41
how are you um
01:50
i’m not completely well but i am okay
01:55
um there’s so much more
01:59
so it’s like
02:02
but uh you know
02:07
just kind of like going back to thursday
02:10
when that happened and thinking about
02:13
the fact that i was not there
02:15
i think that that um
02:19
that’s kind of like a that’s probably
02:21
like the one thing that’s really
02:23
a bummer to me is that
02:26
it wasn’t something that i could like be
02:29
there present for and for me
02:33
it was just a huge
02:36
i don’t know if you want to call it
02:37
reminder that
02:40
i will not always be able to
02:44
cover my voice like to protect them to
02:47
protect my children
02:48
from all the like hurt and harm that
02:50
they are going to experience
02:53
in the world and when i say hurt or harm
02:54
i mean intentional or otherwise like
02:58
intentional or unintentional um
03:02
but yeah it was
03:06
i’m okay i i i
03:10
am sad that
03:13
the kids had to experience what they
03:15
experienced
03:16
i am um i am proud of
03:20
us like i do believe
03:24
that i don’t know if you guys remember
03:27
but like the conversation that we had
03:28
last summer
03:30
um that we shared with everybody where
03:32
we talked to the boys
03:34
in the garage about you know
03:37
what happened to george floyd to an
03:39
extent that we felt like was appropriate
03:41
for each of their
03:43
age levels at that point and we even
03:46
had the conversation with them
03:49
individually
03:50
so that they could process it how they
03:52
needed to process it in that moment
03:55
and i didn’t want to have that
03:58
conversation
04:01
i was completely not for it
04:05
but but you ended up leading it
04:09
because i wanted to be able to like
04:13
care for their heart in the way that
04:15
they were and the way that the
04:16
information was being shared with them
04:19
and so when we like fast forward from
04:22
that conversation to the conversation
04:24
that we had last week
04:25
about what they experienced at the park
04:29
i was like grateful i was grateful that
04:32
like
04:32
you said babe this conversation has to
04:35
happen
04:36
i was proud of us for having the
04:38
conversation and having it as a point of
04:40
reference
04:41
for the boys so that this time where
04:44
they were experiencing it firsthand
04:47
wasn’t the first time that they were
04:48
having
04:50
a talk like that i was proud of us for
04:52
having literature in our home that
04:54
the boys could or the kids could refer
04:58
back to and be like this book made me
05:01
feel good about my skin can we read that
05:03
right now
05:05
like the fact that theo like at one
05:07
point during the conversation you guys
05:08
can’t see
05:09
that but at one point during the
05:11
conversation i saw theo get
05:13
up from where we were and go look on the
05:15
bookshelf
05:16
for a book and i knew exactly what book
05:19
he was looking for
05:20
and then at some point he was like sew
05:22
it or riot i don’t
05:23
remember who figured it out but they’re
05:25
like soulways away and so
05:28
i helped like i’ve got that book and we
05:30
read it and
05:31
it was just a reminder that like even
05:34
though we look
05:35
different or even though like us in
05:37
particular we have darker skin
05:40
it’s still beautiful and it’s still
05:41
something to be proud of there is still
05:43
like god was purposeful when he chose
05:46
theophilus patrick henry and uriah beau
05:48
henry
05:48
to have the skin that they have
05:52
yeah and just so you like just to
05:53
reiterate too like
05:55
we don’t look different like yeah we
05:58
look
05:58
normal no that’s good you know what i’m
06:00
saying um
06:02
so yeah just to say that and then
06:05
shout out to lupita nuongo because that
06:08
book’s fire
06:08
you know what i mean like yeah i like
06:10
the book i didn’t realize how the book
06:12
was going to help them
06:13
yeah and so you just kind of get these
06:14
books and kind of like yeah all right i
06:16
know that was a little weird but it was
06:17
cool
06:18
yeah and then they’re kind of like nah i
06:20
need that yeah
06:22
so yeah it’s really dope because like
06:24
with books like that at one point in the
06:25
story
06:26
like she shares about how she like would
06:28
try to erase her skin
06:29
or put on her mom’s foundation or
06:31
whatever and so it’s kind of like oh
06:32
shoot this book is kind of putting ideas
06:35
in our children’s head but at the same
06:38
time
06:38
it’s also like it’s those ideas are kind
06:41
of coming to the surface but at the same
06:43
time it’s reaffirming
06:45
um their skin like it’s like well the
06:48
end of the book is like
06:49
she spoiler alert yeah she walks
06:52
in her skin very confidently and loves
06:54
how beautiful she is and
06:56
all those things but i think the the
06:58
highlight there is that she’s comparing
07:00
herself to other people yes which i
07:01
think people do all the time
07:02
the kids compare themselves to each
07:04
other they compare themselves to their
07:05
friends they know the difference between
07:07
hair types and skin color and all that
07:09
stuff
07:09
so yeah like
07:12
i think that um uh
07:16
yeah so i i i’m sorry i didn’t mean to
07:20
interrupt you
07:20
no i i mean that was pretty much it i
07:23
was i’m just like proud
07:25
of the job that we are doing like not
07:28
only do we have those books or did we
07:29
have that talk but
07:30
on a regular basis we affirm our
07:32
children and we walk in our skin proud
07:36
like i think the confidence that we have
07:38
looking the way that we do or
07:40
whatever it’s just like they have that
07:43
and so it just speaks to me like volumes
07:47
the importance of like the nurturing
07:51
that takes place within the home
07:54
and so while i am sad while i am bummed
07:58
um i will tell y’all like on thursday i
08:00
was like man oh man
08:02
like on thursday so it happened i get
08:04
the call from lexi
08:05
the boys get home we have the
08:06
conversation
08:08
and then thursdays are like my night off
08:11
so like i usually just go do whatever i
08:13
want to do i don’t remember what i did
08:14
that thursday oh i think i went to the
08:16
beach
08:18
and probably watched the sunset and i
08:20
think
08:21
that that time like i thought i was okay
08:23
and then i like got a moment to be alone
08:25
and in my thoughts and in my head
08:27
and it just all came like oh shoot
08:31
oh shoot oh shoot and it was like one of
08:33
those things where it’s like
08:34
i can’t protect my i can’t always be
08:35
there to protect my kids
08:37
i have to make sure that they are
08:40
solid in who they are and that they are
08:43
equipped
08:44
for moments such as the one that they
08:46
experienced on thursday
08:49
i was bummed about like
08:52
the fact that a child could say
08:56
something and then um
09:00
that message be relayed to other
09:01
children and it just was like
09:04
like my hope and like you know we just
09:06
experienced this huge uproar in 2020
09:09
and it was like okay people are getting
09:10
enlightened people are waking up
09:12
they’re seeing things for what they are
09:14
they’re like trying to make a difference
09:16
in their homes
09:18
and then it was like oh shoot
09:22
it’s not getting better like my
09:25
six and eight-year-old child
09:29
are like trying to enjoy themselves at a
09:32
playground
09:33
and then this happens and you guys
09:37
like i don’t think that that little boy
09:39
was trying to be malicious
09:40
and i don’t think that his mom like i
09:42
don’t think that his mom
09:44
um taught him that point still got
09:47
across from my children that black
09:48
people were bad you know what i mean
09:50
and so that’s kind of what we’re we’re
09:52
fighting here and so
09:53
i’m sure you guys are enjoying yvette
09:55
just communicate because you guys really
09:57
don’t get to hear her like that you know
09:58
what i mean
09:59
unless you subscribe to you got
10:00
unplugged or you uh
10:02
have been following how married are you
10:05
but this is her space this is the event
10:07
unplugged space which is really just the
10:09
other wall
10:09
in the office um as you can see
10:13
she took a little bit more time getting
10:15
stuff together
10:17
um and so but uh yeah
10:20
the the the go ahead
10:23
how are you doing oh how are you
10:26
i am too strong right now i’m not i
10:30
like i’ve had moments where i’ve kind of
10:31
broken down you know what i mean but
10:33
it’s been like
10:35
i could have used like a good 13-minute
10:37
cry inside but i probably lasted like
10:39
25 seconds um just because they’re
10:43
i mean and i i’ve been dealing with a
10:46
lot for a while
10:47
you know what i’m saying and um i’ve
10:49
been trying to kind of communicate about
10:50
mental health and how like hard it’s
10:52
been
10:53
just from a business owner’s perspective
10:55
in a creative’s perspective
10:56
a husband’s perspective and my father
10:58
but now to be
11:00
um this like community person
11:03
you know what i’m saying to where um
11:06
you know you know i
11:10
my platform um is being looked at weird
11:14
you know what i’m saying like
11:15
i am
11:19
i’m not doing great you know what i’m
11:21
saying but i’ve been worse
11:24
you know what i mean um and that’s not
11:26
that’s not safe like i really miss
11:29
my community of brothers i used to do
11:31
bible study with you know
11:32
um jimmy uh jr
11:36
timothy like you know um javier
11:39
miquel all the homies like i miss like
11:42
getting together with him
11:43
and just talking christian like just
11:46
talking it out
11:48
because that was like a space where it’s
11:51
kind of like hey y’all
11:52
you know what i’m saying we just kind of
11:53
like but we always encourage each other
11:55
we always pray for each other we always
11:56
loved on each other and i miss that
11:58
and like that’s the type of stuff that
11:59
kovac kind of took away in a weird way
12:02
um even though i was kind of like man
12:05
what are we gonna do you know what i
12:06
mean
12:06
yeah i don’t have time for this but now
12:08
i know how valuable yeah
12:11
so um that’s really good to hear you say
12:13
yeah and through like
12:14
you know in therapy i know that like i
12:15
definitely need more outlets
12:17
and even talking to you i’m kind of like
12:19
no you’re not enough i need to talk to
12:20
somebody else
12:22
um and you know i think that’s been
12:25
something that we’ve been
12:26
definitely trying to maneuver through
12:27
but how i’m doing like
12:29
i’m doing okay you know what i’m saying
12:31
um
12:31
[Music]
12:33
you know i’m doing okay uh
12:37
not great you know i’m saying just just
12:39
okay
12:40
and uh i i
12:44
i’m glad i’m very proud of you you know
12:45
what i’m saying i’m proud of um
12:47
you know for you kind of communicating
12:51
know everything you’ve been
12:52
communicating with me in the last few
12:54
days
12:55
um and then being you know open to
12:57
having conversations here and there
12:59
uh but i think at this point
13:03
like i’ve always kind of seen our family
13:06
as like mostly priority
13:08
you know what i’m saying over everything
13:09
else and that to me is that
13:11
this whole experience just kind of
13:12
reaffirms kind of like it’s kind of just
13:14
us
13:16
like we kind of all we got you know what
13:17
i mean um
13:20
so we wanted to kind of discuss
13:23
uh real quick before time runs out
13:27
um how is time going to run out it’s
13:30
only
13:31
yeah we kind of want to discuss real
13:33
quick uh because we
13:34
we do know that this family or we do
13:37
know that the party isn’t involved we’re
13:38
not you know malicious in their intent
13:40
um i think that you know some cool
13:43
things i don’t know if you have notes
13:44
but
13:44
i think some cool things to kind of like
13:46
you know move
13:48
moving forward um one of the messages we
13:50
got from
13:51
the community was like this is exactly
13:54
why i don’t want to bring children into
13:55
this world
13:56
like i don’t as a black parent i do not
13:58
want to have children
14:00
right that was the message we got from
14:02
people
14:03
and so i just want to let you know that
14:06
i feel like it was very important for us
14:08
to share our experience because
14:14
you like have all the tools you need and
14:17
you’re watching us go through it so you
14:19
don’t have to go through it blind
14:21
you know you can say hey i wouldn’t have
14:23
said that i wouldn’t have did this or
14:24
um i would i would have loved to you say
14:27
this or whatever but you can still make
14:28
those decisions
14:30
but i don’t i don’t think you should rob
14:32
yourself
14:33
of um like family
14:37
and children because of stupidity you
14:40
know what i’m saying like
14:42
in ignorance um
14:45
that’s it you know what i mean like i
14:47
think that it’s okay to have children
14:50
you know what i mean and telling
14:51
children the truth is very difficult
14:53
but as you can see with our children
14:56
they are adorable
14:57
and they are fine you know theo actually
15:00
so
15:00
they’re probably the most resilient yeah
15:03
um
15:05
human beings on earth children yeah and
15:07
so like
15:08
you know like even like that same very
15:10
same day theo like
15:12
made his first vlog and uh we posted on
15:15
patreon but
15:16
um theo made his first vlog and it was
15:18
like
15:19
hey guys welcome to my web channel you
15:21
know what i’m saying just like hey guys
15:22
welcome to my web channel i’m about to
15:24
show you
15:25
how we have fun in mom and dad’s room
15:28
okay
15:29
it’s chill and cool and not even like
15:31
tripping
15:32
and so um i think one thing if i could
15:34
do differently
15:36
um throughout this whole thing is you
15:38
know
15:39
i think i would um
15:44
go to the park you know what i’m saying
15:47
like
15:48
i don’t know like i felt like i was very
15:50
in my feelings and like wanting to get
15:51
to the part to solve the problem
15:53
but uh oh you you’re saying you would
15:56
have
15:56
the house oh my gosh guys this man
15:59
like alexi hadn’t even gotten anything
16:01
out he just heard her on the phone
16:03
crying and he already had his shoes and
16:05
was like out the door
16:07
out the door i like was literally on the
16:08
phone with her trying to get information
16:10
and chasing him like come back
16:12
she’s on her way home and uh
16:15
yeah like that was a question because i
16:17
did ask on my own
16:19
social platform i was like what is it
16:21
that you guys still want to know and
16:22
people were asking like how would you
16:24
have handled this situation
16:26
if you were there and i don’t know if
16:28
that’s even
16:29
something we really want to um like
16:32
spend time on but i the crazy thing
16:36
is is like i know for a fact that glenn
16:38
and i would have handled it two
16:40
different ways as well
16:41
like him and i yeah my question to me
16:44
who baby this yeah one of your baby over
16:47
here being uh
16:48
very disrespectful who one of y’all who
16:50
this belonged to if you
16:52
watch um how married are you i think we
16:54
have a whole episode on that who baby
16:55
this
16:58
oh man um
17:00
[Music]
17:01
yeah what about your notes oh
17:05
okay so okay i don’t even know i’m like
17:09
i feel like i could go all over the
17:10
place i really wanted to be more
17:12
organized and how
17:13
we talk to you guys but um
17:16
cicely tyson thank the lord like
17:20
this is another oh my gosh can you see
17:22
it this is another
17:23
example of how important
17:27
it is to be able to tell your story
17:34
um because our children
17:38
had soulway as an example
17:42
you know like they could go back and
17:44
recall that story and they’re like
17:46
you know whatever cicely tyson before
17:48
she died wrote a book
17:51
and i’m gonna read a paragraph to you
17:53
guys just to show
17:54
like just to kind of communicate to you
17:58
some and here and if you watch event
18:01
unplugged y’all know i read a lot so
18:03
here it is um it’s no wonder
18:06
that many african-americans carry a
18:09
lingering distrust of whites
18:11
even those we sincerely love and embrace
18:14
given the horrors of our abuse in this
18:16
nation we are under
18:17
i’m sorry we are understandably wary
18:21
to ever heal these deep racial traumas
18:23
and seldom
18:24
has it felt more urgent than that we do
18:27
we must acknowledge that they
18:29
indeed still exist throbbing and tender
18:32
beneath the surface spilling over like
18:35
molten rage into the streets
18:37
as difficult as it is to recall this
18:39
country’s atrocities
18:40
it is essential that every american of
18:42
every color does
18:44
it is crucial that we connect that
18:47
centuries-long
18:48
ugly history with in our times now a
18:51
cop’s knee on george floyd’s neck
18:53
and bullets riddling brianna taylor’s
18:56
body
18:56
the line from our nation’s original sin
18:58
to its present heartache is not faint
19:00
and dotted it is solid and direct and
19:04
even when the impulse arises to cringe
19:06
and look away from a system predicated
19:08
on black oppression
19:10
a system that is still doing precisely
19:12
what it was designed to do
19:14
we must stare into the face of our past
19:16
and examine what happened here
19:18
on our soul soil much of it less
19:21
than a lifetime ago a lot of it
19:23
happening now turning a blind eye to our
19:26
history has not saved us
19:27
from its consequences okay
19:31
the reason i am sharing this story
19:34
is because i believe that cicely tyson
19:37
gave us a call to action and the call to
19:39
action is to acknowledge the past
19:40
while trying to walk things out in the
19:44
present
19:45
and make things better for the future
19:47
and so with that being said i have had
19:49
many
19:50
conversations with many parents
19:53
who have been like i don’t want to talk
19:56
to my kids about race
19:58
i just want to talk to them about loving
20:00
everybody
20:01
we do too we want to have the same
20:02
conversation we want to have that exact
20:04
same conversation
20:06
however that is impossible it’s
20:08
obviously it’s not something that
20:10
we can really allow to happen yeah so if
20:12
you
20:13
are if you refuse to have the
20:15
conversation that you want it just to be
20:17
about love
20:18
then you’re giving someone else the
20:20
permission to have the conversation
20:21
or what was miscommunicated to them you
20:24
know or what was just heard in passing
20:26
so that’s why it’s important to tell
20:27
people the truth about what you believe
20:29
we’re all preaching
20:30
you know what i’m saying something we’re
20:32
all being proof of what we actually
20:34
believe and so if you believe that like
20:36
love is the key love is the answer and
20:38
all you got to do is operating in love
20:39
well your love better be pretty strong
20:41
when someone says something
20:43
contrary to what you believe and then
20:45
that’s all you got left is just like
20:46
just love them just love them you know
20:48
what i’m saying like sometimes like
20:50
the passiveness of our humanity gets in
20:52
the way
20:53
of like like the loving
20:56
part of who we are you know what i’m
20:58
saying like it gets
21:00
yeah it gets lost in translation you
21:01
know because
21:03
i understand like some people are just
21:04
passive they don’t want to deal with it
21:06
and it’s like
21:06
that’s awesome that’s great for you and
21:08
some people have even said like and my
21:09
parents have never had this conversation
21:11
with me and i turned out fine you know
21:12
what i’m saying
21:13
but did you
21:17
you know what i’m saying or maybe you
21:18
did turn off fine maybe you just never
21:20
had to experience it
21:21
and that’s amazing that’s great but
21:24
more people deal with it than not you
21:25
know we’re not crazy
21:27
and i think too like the the the the
21:30
scary part of like
21:32
not the scary part but the unfortunate
21:34
part of like that
21:35
those people who are like hey my parents
21:36
never had this conversation with me and
21:38
i turned out fine
21:39
is that sometimes when incidents like
21:41
this happen then there is like this lack
21:44
of empathy
21:45
yeah for someone who experiences it
21:48
that’s privilege
21:48
yeah and so sometimes like
21:50
miscommunication
21:52
i mean sorry mis communication and false
21:55
or
21:55
like what did you call it whatever can
21:58
leave people hurt
22:00
and that hurt needs to be validated that
22:02
hurt needs to be acknowledged
22:04
and like i just think that these types
22:07
of conversations can kind of help
22:10
i mean empathy alone but here’s the
22:12
thing is i don’t think it’s
22:13
other people’s possibility to validate
22:15
our feelings like i think we need to
22:16
stop
22:17
like trying to make sure like hey you
22:19
hurt me like
22:21
cool you stay over there like this is
22:23
what i’m this is what i believe
22:25
in my soul okay tell us babe
22:29
right love does not mean access
22:32
ooh give me my keep your love on book
22:35
love does not mean access if you love me
22:37
that doesn’t mean you could be around me
22:38
keep your level and it says level work
22:41
you know what i’m saying mm-hmm and
22:47
forgiveness my sister and i were talking
22:49
oh my gosh
22:50
forgiveness does not mean trust spitting
22:52
bars can we take a moment snap fingers
22:54
love does not mean access and
22:56
forgiveness does not mean trust say it
22:58
again baby
22:58
one more time one more time love does
23:00
not mean access and forgiveness does not
23:02
mean trust and that’s it so
23:03
if you just because i love you you know
23:06
i’m saying that doesn’t mean that you
23:08
have a right to know me
23:09
you have a right you know i’m saying if
23:10
you like that doesn’t mean that you
23:12
better tell them
23:13
you don’t have to be in we don’t have to
23:14
be in community together you’re not
23:15
saying no none of that amen brother and
23:17
even if i forgive you that doesn’t mean
23:18
you still have the right to come into my
23:20
life and do the same thing like you do
23:22
not
23:23
i don’t trust you i forgive you you know
23:25
i’m saying there’s no
23:26
hard feelings and all that you know but
23:29
i can’t like allow you back into my life
23:31
to do it again
23:32
you know what i’m saying so um okay and
23:35
and
23:36
all that to say like if you’re a white
23:37
parent and you are trying to have this
23:39
conversation and navigate it just know
23:41
that
23:41
uh you know you don’t have to take my
23:43
advice you know i
23:44
i i don’t have to be anybody to you but
23:46
i do feel like there you know are some
23:48
tips you know what i mean like we
23:49
suggest
23:50
just like we did with our children not
23:52
having
23:53
um the conversation in a group so if
23:55
you’re gonna talk about race i think you
23:57
should have it at an
23:58
age appropriate level when we talked up
24:00
to our children
24:01
about uh you know george floyd and all
24:04
the stuff that happened with
24:05
uh that whole time um last year
24:09
um it was very traumatizing for
24:10
everybody you know what i’m saying
24:12
but we still had the conversation
24:14
separately even though our kids are 17
24:16
months apart
24:17
there are different maturity levels so
24:19
we had to make sure they were able to at
24:21
least
24:21
ask any clarifying questions that they
24:23
wanted to ask
24:24
i’m so sorry to interrupt but i feel
24:26
like even if they are twins
24:28
the way that we as individuals process
24:30
information is different
24:32
and so i think having the conversations
24:34
individually with your children
24:36
no matter what age they are or whatever
24:38
is
24:39
valuable like glenn and i are we process
24:41
things differently
24:43
we are now adults so we could probably
24:45
have a conversation
24:46
in a group but for children i do think
24:50
it is important to be mindful of that
24:51
part too
24:52
you know also if your children happen to
24:54
come across this
24:56
or see this or this happens to them
25:00
i would like really just give them the
25:02
length and time
25:04
to just communicate all of their
25:05
feelings and just wait till they stop
25:07
talking wait till they stop asking
25:08
questions
25:09
i think that’s one thing i didn’t know
25:11
we were doing but we just always were
25:12
kind of just kind of like we’re going to
25:13
sit here
25:14
stop everything and just sit here and
25:16
talk until we figure this out
25:17
um so like that tuesday whatever that
25:20
day on thursday
25:21
i had basically like canceled whatever i
25:23
was about to do it’s like okay that’s
25:24
what i’m focusing on today
25:26
um and that lets the kids know like hey
25:29
like i’m stopping for you because this
25:30
is very important
25:31
that was one of my big fears about
25:35
you know like sending us kids to school
25:37
and it
25:38
originally was kind of like you know if
25:40
my child was to ask why am i black
25:42
the teacher don’t got time to answer
25:44
that you know what i’m saying like those
25:46
are real questions you know
25:47
and so like for that one reason alone is
25:50
kind of like
25:50
you don’t get the permission to tell
25:52
yeah i’m saying
25:54
and here’s another thing man like really
25:56
important
25:57
for us as a community protect your
25:59
energy
26:00
not everyone deserves your ear not
26:03
everyone deserves your attention
26:05
you know what i’m saying so don’t allow
26:07
people
26:08
the space to communicate with you if
26:10
they are not safe you know what i’m
26:11
saying like
26:12
i think you need to be a safe haven for
26:14
your children and yourself
26:16
everybody does not need to know your
26:17
story and i feel like we’re taking a lot
26:19
of shots
26:21
you know so that you don’t have to you
26:23
know what i mean
26:24
and not so much like trying to put
26:25
ourselves up on a pedestal but man it’s
26:27
real out here like this is not easy for
26:30
us to navigate through
26:31
you know what i mean um so i would just
26:33
really protect yourself and just know
26:35
that like
26:36
yo some people you know what i’m saying
26:40
some people you know i’m saying that
26:41
everybody’s just people and i’m you know
26:43
one of the
26:43
one of the better things that’s kind of
26:45
irritating about me
26:46
is that like i don’t be judging people
26:49
you know what i’m saying like i’d be
26:51
like man maybe they just you know
26:54
whatever
26:54
you know what i’m saying i give people
26:55
the benefit of the doubt i hope the best
26:57
form
26:58
you know what i mean um and sometimes in
27:00
my initial moment i get upset and
27:01
emotional
27:02
but overall like i am
27:06
very much for everybody and i don’t
27:08
believe it’s anybody else’s
27:09
responsibility to take care of my
27:10
children
27:11
but but you know us you know
27:14
and so i don’t trust people with my
27:17
children
27:18
you know i’m saying very loosely like
27:19
that but i’m very proud of lexi
27:21
for how she handled everything and you
27:22
guys kept saying shout out lexi lexi
27:24
real one and all that
27:25
um you know but you know i i think that
27:28
you know even caring for lexi’s heart
27:30
like yo like
27:31
this is kind of what happens you know
27:33
what i’m saying i’m i’m sorry that she
27:34
had to deal with it
27:35
yeah because it’s like she didn’t ever
27:37
have to experience nothing like that you
27:39
know what i mean it’s so
27:40
um but you know what’s cool is i i do i
27:43
am glad this is like their first
27:45
experience because i feel like it’s
27:46
light
27:47
you know what i’m saying like you’re
27:49
talking about our parents getting rocks
27:50
thrown at them and yeah
27:51
all types of stuff like that you know
27:53
what i mean like they’re dealing with it
27:55
in a different way
27:56
but it’s still like lingering you know
27:57
what i’m saying um
27:59
so yeah man um i hope this is
28:02
encouraging i know this is kind of
28:03
longer
28:04
than what we usually do i hope uh that
28:06
you found some type of piece in
28:08
this content um and you know we just
28:11
want you to know like
28:14
we we are doing okay you know what i’m
28:16
saying and um
28:19
that says she’s not well i said i’m
28:20
doing okay
28:22
um but as a family i think we’re doing
28:24
pretty good
28:26
our our our children are doing fine
28:29
they are thriving thriving they are
28:33
as much as we know though yeah and
28:35
that’s the thing too is like
28:37
like part of me wants to be like hey how
28:38
you guys doing like
28:40
is that still in your mind like we don’t
28:42
know what thoughts are lingering from
28:44
that day
28:45
and it’s like do we bring it up or do we
28:47
just let them be
28:50
and i don’t know we’ll i guess we’ll
28:51
have to figure that out as time goes on
28:53
but
28:54
um i saw him not well but i think it’s
28:57
just
28:58
more so like the thoughts that i’m
29:01
having
29:02
about people and whatever so
29:06
yeah i think glenn i’m just grateful
29:11
he’s right like he
29:14
his heart for people is actually really
29:17
big
29:18
but but that doesn’t that doesn’t always
29:19
play to my strength and it doesn’t
29:22
it doesn’t and that’s true but i’m just
29:24
like i’m still
29:25
grateful and that’s what i’m saying how
29:26
we all process things differently
29:28
like i’m grateful for the perspective
29:30
that you
29:31
offer me because you’re right like
29:34
forgiveness doesn’t equal trust it
29:36
doesn’t equal access
29:38
and um and
29:41
yeah you can still love people from the
29:42
far side yeah and i don’t know how our
29:44
kids feel about going to the park again
29:46
i know you know i don’t know and that
29:48
was like one of their favorite parks
29:50
yeah and so like i don’t know like how
29:52
the children are gonna feel being like
29:53
seeing somebody and i think it’s gonna
29:55
take a little bit of time
29:56
but it might be that initial like uh i’m
29:58
good i played by myself
30:00
no thanks you know what i’m saying like
30:01
i’m good the crazy thing is they weren’t
30:03
even supposed to be at the park that day
30:05
like that morning their music class got
30:07
cancelled and
30:08
it was it’s just like the whole way that
30:10
that day worked out is just crazy all
30:12
right but i think i do think it look
30:14
looked out for the community
30:15
and the culture’s benefit you know what
30:17
i’m saying um
30:19
and even our children’s benefit like i
30:20
do believe that this is a strengthening
30:22
moment not a oh like i don’t like i
30:25
don’t think they see themselves as
30:27
victims oh not at all not
30:28
not at all you know what i’m saying and
30:30
i don’t see myself as a victim you know
30:31
what i’m saying
30:32
do you feel like a victim
30:37
all right all right then um yeah guys so
30:41
uh we just wanted to take a moment man
30:45
yeah protect your energy for sure like
30:47
oh that’s a word
30:50
protect your energy yeah and um we’re
30:52
going to move forward
30:53
so there there there are some things
30:55
kind of pending
30:57
um mental health-wise for me and so
31:00
uh you know
31:04
you know i know the good father season
31:06
has been going on for a while and so
31:07
we’re going to kind of
31:08
some summarize that um finish that up in
31:10
the next couple videos
31:12
and then uh you know we don’t be posting
31:14
consistently but we need a break bad
31:17
like i need to break bad um so just pray
31:20
for me man
31:21
i keep saying that and i know y’all kind
31:22
of like man this dude always saying he’s
31:23
taking a break and we put on videos but
31:25
he won’t be breaking either
31:26
so um just know that yeah
31:30
all right y’all we’ll see you guys next
31:32
time thank you guys so much for watching
31:33
protect your life
31:34
keep your network popping if you’re
31:36
fortunate enough to be doing like with
31:37
someone else make sure you watch this
31:38
video with them
31:39
if they’re not around share with them
31:42
diaries for black males
31:44
no mistakes no emotions blank pages tip
31:47
scales
31:47
and when the weight gets so heavy that
31:50
you can’t maintain the balance
31:51
and you want to speak the truth but they
31:53
would rather hit your silence
31:55
hold it in black man and please don’t
—
This post was previously published on YouTube.
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video
The post She’s Not Doing Well *Racial Experience [Video] appeared first on The Good Men Project.
